Fresh Slate?

January is the traditional month for change. New year, new resolutions, new opportunities to make changes to ourselves, our lives, our homes.

I've been thinking for a long time of simplifying. Not downsizing because we really cannot afford to move right now. But we do have a lot of stuff in our home we could do without. And there are other areas which could stand a little more focus and a little downsizing as well.

Last year, Wil Wheaton had a blog post about making changes in some small areas, tweaks to make his life better in health, creativity, and overall living. He called it a reboot and I suppose that's what I need to do as well.

I need/want to:

Increase my exercise. I've been diagnosed as pre-diabetic for the last few years and I need to get serious about losing weight and keeping it off. I lost 10 lbs last year, but got lazy and regained it. I have an elliptical and I need to get on it no less than 5 times a week for at least 20 minutes.

Increase my intake of healthy fruits and vegetables. I fell down on the job of making sure I was eating more healthy foods and decreasing my carb intake to help my blood sugars. I need to buy veggies and get them chopped up on the weekend so that I have something easy to grab.

Decrease my screen time in the evenings. I need to put down the computer or tablet and pick up a book or my knitting. I don't need to be mindlessly scrolling through crap when I could be escaping into a good book or working on a gift for someone.

Read a variety of books each month. My hope is to read at least 6 different kinds of books a month: non-fiction, my book club's selection, YA, mystery, Christian (fiction or non) and fiction (whatever fits the category like romance, general fiction, SciFi, etc). So I really need to put the screens away at night.

Knit more. I have yarn, I have patterns. I have friends and family who enjoy receiving things I make and to whom I enjoy giving. I need to make my list of projects, put the yarn into bags with the patterns and just grab one a month.

Decrease the clutter in my home. I need to get down to the items I love, have meaning for me or serve a purpose. I've decided to do Snail Pace Transformations' 30x12 Challenge so I can month by month decrease the stuff in my home taking up valuable space better used for loved items or nothing at all. I also determined to be mindful about where I was going to donate the items, to not just use Goodwill, but also Salvation Army and more local charitable thrift stores.

Purpose to spend time in Bible study. I really suck at keeping this up. I do well for a week or two and then find myself doing rapid catch-ups on the weekend to be ready for Monday evening Bible study.

The above is enough.

I'm hoping to once a month do a check-in post to see how I'm doing. Since I also suck at posting, we'll see how that goes.

March is a lion?

We have had the most beautiful weather this month (at least up until this weekend where we are finally getting some rain per the normal weather patterns). The unseasonably warm weather has brought nature to life much earlier than anticipated. The tulip trees (some of you know them as magnolias) were beginning to bloom in February. FEBRUARY.

Beautiful weather did make for a wonderful time at this year's Rose City Yarn Crawl. Ten of us roamed across the Portland Metro area to six yarn stores (there were 15 participating), enjoyed lunch in the sun and enabled yarn and pattern purchases for one another.

You can clearly see we visited Twisted, Knit Purl and Dublin Bay. But we also saw Littlelamb and Ewe, Close Knit and Blizzard and enjoyed some ice cream at Salt & Straw. I didn't purchase something at every store we visited, but I definitely enjoyed each one.

I have definitely continued to be busy. Even with the Saturday off for the yarn crawl, it was still not a restful day for me. School, work, practicum, and activities continue to keep me hopping.

Health

Still not getting up to exercise. I have managed to get in a walk here and there, but they are not regular activities. I had a checkup and a mammogram though to get some baselines. I am happy to say the girls are in fine form and no issues there. My checkup shows I do need to pay more attention to food and exercise as my sugar levels remain elevated enough to keep me in the pre-diabetes watch zone.

Knitting

I am a poor, poor crafter. I have cast on Rob's hat and have knit perhaps 5 rows on it. I had the original goal to finish it in January, then I pushed it to February. It may become my March goal.

Reading

I have 14 books towards my goal of 75 for the year. I finished the following books since the last post:

• The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie (Alan Bradley)
• Yes Please (Amy Poehler)
• Garden Spells (Sarah Addison Allen)
• The Girl Who Chased the Moon (Sarah Addison Allen)
• Waking Kate (ebook, Sarah Addison Allen)
• Harbor Island (Carla Neggers)
• Rock Point (ebook, Carla Neggers)
• Tapestry of Fortunes (Elizabeth Berg)
• Thanksgiving Prayer (Debbie Macomber)*
• How to Bake a Perfect Life (Barbara O'Neal)*
• Turquoise (Marilyn Griffin)*
• Second Time Around (Beth Kendrick)*

Of those books, the last four are starred because they were also part of my empty shelf challenge.

I'm currently reading the Neil Patrick Harris autobiography and I need to read this month's book club selection, One Good Dog by Susan Wilson. We're working on a BINGO challenge this year.

Spiritual

I have not been very good at doing my study first. I've been lazy, wanting to sleep as long as possible before getting out of bed. Likely from the last year of busyness. This is the last week of the current Bible study and then I'll get a couple of weeks off before we tackle a shorter study on Gideon.

Prayer

My mother-in-law, Bonnie, is in the hospital. She went in on Thursday evening and is struggling with fluids, heart  and kidney issues. She is in her 80s and a lovely, loving woman. My husband and his oldest brother are the children still in the area so they have been with her and Rob's dad, Raye, over the last few days. They have had conversations with the doctors on prognosis and treatment, with each other on their parents and with their spouses on the difficulty of all of this.

My sister-in-law is likely to come out to stay with them once Bonnie is stable enough to move home. Raye and Bonnie had been making adjustments for their age and abilities, equipment in the bathroom, Meals on Wheels deliveries, having their sons come over to do the yard and household chores. But this event takes it into a new place, one where we have to seriously consider one without the other and the care of this remaining parent.

When I asked Rob how his mom was doing, he said she was doing well. She's calm, reading her books and likely still having the quiet life she had before, just in a different setting. She did talk to Rob about Lily, her cat, wanting us to take Lily in when Bonnie can no longer care for her. It feels like she is preparing for her time to come to an end, as gently as she can with her children. But this is my take based on Rob's reports to me and how he appears to be handling it.

I'll be able to see her today when we go down (school and work has kept me busy when he would go). I guess I'll see for myself how she is doing. I am praying for peace for us all through this.

A rare Saturday off

Since starting practicum last April, the majority of my Saturdays have been spent working at the store. Practicum takes up 12 hours a week which definitely reduces my availability to work more hours so I let the owners know they could book me for Saturdays on a regular basis. And they have.

But this month, I actually get two Saturdays off! An unexpected blessing which Rob and I took advantage of by going out to breakfast to our usual place, the Kitchen Table Cafe.

Health
No progress here to report. I didn't get up to exercise, but I did pop on to the scale. I was weighing in at 203.6 pounds on Monday which isn't unexpected as I have tended to go between 200 and 203 for the last few years. Remembering small goals is easier to focus on, I'm going to aim to lose 5% of my current weight as a goal. That means losing 10 pounds. As a reward, I'm going to treat myself to a manicure. I like having my nails painted, but I usually do it myself and it chips and looks ugly within days. Why not let a professional do it and enjoy it longer? The last time I had a manicure almost 5 years ago for my brother's wedding.

Knitting
I spent New Year's Day knitting on headbands for one of my nieces using the Whitney pattern. I was going to crochet a flower for them as well, but my crochet skills are seriously lacking. Instead, I went to JoAnn's and found a crocheted flower and a fun button to make into a pin she can add to any of the headbands.

I did attempt the crocheted flower one more time at Knit Night and was much more successful with the help of a friend. Once she explained the pattern, it was much easier to do. I didn't do the 3rd row called out in the pattern as it would have made the flower HUGE. I think I'll do a few more in different colors for her to change out her look.

Rob's Corps of Discovery hat will be cast on this weekend. I'd hoped to do it at Knit Night but the crocheted flower took up the time :)

Reading
I haven't yet grabbed a book from my shelf. I'm reading my library books and I need to read my book club book. I've finished The Peach Keeper by Sarah Addison Allen and The Funeral Dress by Susan Gregg Gilmore.

This month's book club selection is The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie by Alan Bradley. It was already checked out at the library, Barnes & Noble was too expensive and I didn't know when I'd be in to Portland to get to Powell's. But Amazon Kindle had it for $1.99 and that was just right.

Spiritual
I have made a point of getting up and getting my Bible study done before I do anything else in the morning. Mind you, it's a fairly quick study to get done (the week's lessons are broken into 5 days with four questions per day) which makes it easy to maintain at the moment. I've already completed the first week and am almost done with the second week. We start this upcoming Monday, so I am hoping to continue to be ahead of the game each week.

This weekend will be taken up with household maintenance chores: replace a light switch, put away the Christmas ornaments (and also thin the herd of decor we don't use), picking out flooring for the bathroom repair work we are having done in February and some NFL football now that we're in playoffs.

Now off to conquer!

Endings and Beginnings

It's New Year's Day. The time of year people look back and reflect on the previous 12 months and then plan for the next 12 months. And think "I can do better this year."

My planner, pens, highlighters
and my current to-do journal.

I'll admit I tend to be a planner. I have my 2015 calendar and January is already filled with my work and practicum hours, my activities with Bible study, book club and knitting group, my Friday classes. Next week, it will fill with more information as I get my class syllabus and fill in the readings to be done and assignment due dates. I have a pen with 4 colors of ink, multiple highlighters and mechanical pencils to color code to my heart's content. Buying this planner was the result of online searches for the "right" planner for me. Do I buy a pre-made? Buy the pages and create my own? Which then led to what size? 3-ring or disc? I finally got tired of it and bought one similar to my 2014 planner. It's not "perfect" for how I like to work (I'm a big list maker), but I was getting bogged down in the variety of planners available. I can always purchase another planner later.

So, 2015. Based on my experiences in 2014, what did I want to do in 2015? Well, SIMPLIFY is a word that immediately comes to mind. But so does CHANGE. How this will happen I'm not entirely sure, but it will be an ongoing process. But using those words for a springboard, I'm going to focus on just four areas for 2015 for personal goals.

Health

My elliptical. I need to give
it a name since we about
to become good friends.

I need to make changes here. I'm overweight and far too sedentary. I have an elliptical I've moved into the small spare room. Ignore the mess, please.

I need to commit to using this at least 3 times a week for just 30 minutes. A small, simple change which would benefit me greatly.

While I own a Fitbit, but I need to be more deliberate, more committed, more caring about my health. I can up with any number of excuses for not making time. It's time to stop doing that.

Rob and I did a little 5k walk for charity in early December. I've been thinking I should look at doing more of those. And put them in my calendar.

Knitting

The Yarn Armoire

One of the names I call myself is Knitter. 2014 didn't see much knitting from me, though. At Knit Nights, I tended to do very little knitting and more socializing. My school/work/practicum schedule tended to tucker me out and knitting took more brain power than I had available.

I want to change that in 2015. I gave away quite a bit of yarn in October of 2014 and now it's time to knit what I kept. I'm thinking of putting together 12 bags, one for each month.

Rob's been so patient in waiting for the socks and hats I've promised him for the last *mumble mumble* year(s). It's time to knock those out for him and reward his patience this year. I have other people I need to knit for (stuffies for my nieces Sam and Katie, gloves for a friend and her son), but Rob's getting bumped to the front of the line.

Spiritual

Monday nights are when I facilitate a Bible study at church. We start a new study on Joshua in just a couple of weeks. Being a table leader ensures I get the lessons done, but I had a tendency last year to procrastinate and wait to get the lessons done. Not. Good.

This year I'm committing to doing my lessons before I do anything else in the morning. My alarm will go off, I get 2 hits of the snooze bar (being realistic here!) and I'll get out of bed long enough to grab my Bible and study before diving into the Word. I just started doing this for the last 3 days and so far, so good!

Reading

While Knitter is one of my names, Reader was my name long, long, long before that.

I tend to read between 60-80 books in a year, books I've bought for pleasure or for book club or books I've borrowed from the library. But I have a lot of books accumulated which have yet to be read. So, 2015 will see me attempt an Empty Shelf Challenge.

Other Empty Shelf Challenges I've seen online start with an empty shelf with the goal of filling it up throughout the year. I'm doing the opposite - I plan on emptying this shelf of these books. There are just over 60 books here to be read and their fates determined (keep or donate).

I'll end up reading more than these books over the course of the year (book club and my library's habit of providing free access to wonderful books), but these will make up the bulk of my reading.

Oh! and one more goal. I'm planning to blog more often than I did in 2014. I need an outlet for thoughts, for accountability, for fun that isn't Facebook.

Hello, 2015. Come on in and let's get to know one another.

Learning Again

This new year has gotten off to a start. A start. It feels new, rocky, overwhelming, exciting, tiring and frustrating. I want to get a million things accomplished and I want to crawl back into bed until spring. Everything to be done swirls around me and can feel overwhelming and I feel like the man in the picture below. In a place of safety in the midst of the storm, but feeling a little trapped too.

Google images

Our household is still full with three families. Many times it feels like 7 against 3. Or 7 and 1 against 2. Or 7 and 1 and 1 against me. I often feel like I'm in the center, offering stability and advice to everyone when what I want is for someone else to make decisions and take care of grocery shopping, chores, managing finances and offering encouragement on all of those things to everyone else. For someone else to listen to the concerns everyone has with everyone else when you have 10 people in a 1500 square foot home.

And we are going to grow by one. My niece and her husband are expecting a baby who will come as we transition from spring to summer. And I was not able to be excited for them.

I know some of it is my stress levels. I am working again; it is not full time, but it is something I can do and leave behind me when I walk out the door after my shift. And working is good, but it also means the time I had for studying and doing the household chores has been curtailed. I am still a student and this quarter has more reading than I anticipated and is pushing me in new ways which are good and difficult.

I keep reminding myself this is a season. And seasons come and go; the quietness of winter gives way to the new life of spring. Spring moves on to the growth and bursting life of summer who in turn gives way to the harvest of fall. And then fall moves over to the quietness of winter again.

But my quiet is not here. It is not around me, it is not in my home. And many times, it is not in me. The maelstrom of thoughts, intents, need-to-do lists, must-happen-now items, how-will-we-manage concerns seems as if it is only quieted at night in sleep.

Google images

Although it can be hard to remember in the midst of it, I can always be thankful I am not alone in the storm of my thoughts and life.

Changing Seasons

I always look forward to the Fall.  The weather cools and I'm more comfortable, kids in the neighborhood go back to school and a new Bible study starts at church.  This year, all of this has still occurred, but has taken on deeper meaning.

With the temperatures finally at a daytime level I enjoy and so wonderfully cool at night, my comfort level has been changing. It's always amazing to me when I see just how God intends to work in my life - it's as if I just woke up to the specifics of His grace at that moment.

I lost my job in July. I wasn't the employee I needed to be. No matter how unhappy I was, it was still a blow to the ego. But I also rejoiced in it. I had freedom to find what would make me happy, time to see what God would reveal in this next phase of life. So while I'm out of work and the comfort of that steady paycheck, I've also had time to enjoy my cousin and our relationship, time to vacation with my sister, her girls and my parents, time to clean out my house to make room for family. And He has shown me what I really need to be able to live.

Taking the dinghy back to the boat

Fall and kids going back to school has always meant the neighborhood was quieter during the day, but didn't overly affect my home since our children are grown and out on their own. In August, our little household of three (Rob, my cousin and I) grew to 10. We were able to step in and help Rob's niece, husband and children by providing a home to stay in for a time. And they have 4 school-age children and a 9-month-old. And school has taken on a more hands-on approach for the household.

I have also decided to go back to school. I start tomorrow to earn my degree in Social Work. It's only one day a week, for 11 quarters, but it's enough to have me checking my bag to make sure I have everything I need.

Fall Quarter 2012

Thankfully, I have Bible study to keep me grounded. We just started Beth Moore's new study on James and already it's encouraging me.

James 1:2-3, The Message (MSG)
Faith Under Pressure

^2-4 Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

I'm headed into a  new season with family, school and comfort levels. It's going to be exciting to see what He does with me and in me.

One Step at a Time

I was inspired to give Spark People another try after seeing the success of a woman at work. She too had been struggling with her weight, but she's taken the bull by the horns and really jumped into SP and Couch to 5K. And she looks great!

It really got me thinking about what I was doing - which was just thinking and not doing. At all. I kept coming up with excuses, kept feeling sorry for myself, kept thinking "if only."

* If only I had enough time
* If only I could afford a gym membership
* If only I could find the right program, motivation, etc

BUT: *If* I want to change, I *only* have to take a small step. Standing still isn't helping me, so a step forward will.

This week there were a couple of articles that really spoke to me. One about changing the "2 steps forward, 1 step back" to "1 step back, 2 steps forward." The idea of deliberately seeing the positive instead of the negative.

The other article shot holes in my excuses - I did watch TV off TiVo, so what's an extra half hour wait while I get in a quick walk? Or taking the commercials as an opportunity to quickly get some housework done?

I've been tracking my food this week to get back into the habit. Next week, I'll continue tracking food, but add walking to the routine.

One step at a time.

Quick update, anyone?

Well, I haven’t done what I thought I would several weeks ago which is write up the year so far. Books have continued to be read, a little bit of knitting continues to happen and I continue to allow other things to prevent me from blogging.

I have a book club meeting tomorrow – the first official “We’ve read a book and plan to discuss it” meeting. We chose C.S. Lewis’ The Great Divorce. Surprisingly, we didn’t have that on the bookshelf so off to Powell’s we went to remedy this glaring omission. (There are plenty of others we lack as well, but this was a definite necessity)

I enjoyed this quick-to-read book. I had been concerned I wouldn’t enjoy it, the possibility it would be a slog to read or that it just wouldn’t speak to me. Instead, I’ve found myself re-reading sections and thinking about past bible studies, my own personality when compared to the ghosts in the story and am very glad it was chosen. I’m looking forward to tonight’s discussion with the girls.

I’ve knit the second Whirligig shrug. The first was knit for a co-worker’s new daughter, the second for my youngest niece. I need to wash and dry them, sew a label into them and wrap them up all pretty for gifting.

We’ve done a little bit of yard work. This year I actually managed to put flowers into the two planters we have placed near the front door. We planted a fir in the front yard that’s likely to get rilly rilly big, but hey, since we don’t plan on living in the house another 30 years, it won’t be our problem.

All right, enough chatting. Back to work.

I'm still here . . . I think

Half the year is officially past and what do I have to show for it?

Well, I’ve read books in there. Just under 40, I think. Mostly fiction, but I did have a couple of non-fiction in there too. Most recent was a book about a company that provides “bio-remediation" or the removal of bio matter from scenes of death, violent or not. Very fascinating.

Some knitting. A couple of baby sweaters. Some dishcloths.

Working. Bible studies.

I have pictures and need to work up some real posts. It’s a long holiday weekend, so I think that’s what I’ll do.

Happy Easter!

Tulips are spring to me. They're a simple flower with a short time frame to be enjoyed. They aren't fussy and high maintenance. They don't mind giving way to other showier flowers. They just grow, be what they are and then die away until next spring when it starts all over again.

It's Easter Sunday and families are gathering to enjoy a holiday dinner together. Rob & I are at home rather than heading out to Hillsboro because of the rotten cold I have. It kept me home today rather than going to Easter services and risk passing it on.

Rob said it was a great message today and I'm sorry to have missed it. They also did communion and knowing it's also Resurrection Sunday would have given it even greater weight and meaning.



Right now, Rob is pretending to watch TV, but he's really just napping in his chair. I'm tapping away on the computer, wandering around FB, Ravelry and Google Reader.

I finished a few knitting projects in March: a sweater for Gavin, a mug cozy for Rob, some legwarmers for Khylee.



I still have a hat for Samantha, another hat for Erin, and a baby sweater for a little girl due this month.

I've been doing a little bit of reading in March as well. A bit of a slow month for the books since I've only read three. All by Nora Roberts/JD Robb. The first was The Lost, an anthology with 3 other writers. The Robb story fit in with the Lt. Eve Dallas "In Death" series. It was followed by a library book, Kindred in Death. The last is an old Silhouette by Roberts, Enchanted. It brings back the Donovans from an earlier trilogy, but focuses on a different branch.

I did finish a library book yesterday, Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach. This was very interesting, humorous and a great break from fiction.

What's Been Happening

Well, we gained a grandson in January: Gavin Russell.
Grandpa Rob is in love. Of course, it doesn't hurt when the pumpkin causing the love also wears a shirt saying "My Grandpa is the Best."

We've been wondering what our cats do when we're gone. The answer appears to include the word "Party."

And I finally finished Mom's sweater. I have a button to sew on and 2 ends to weave in. Yay!

I just wrapped up a sweater for Gavin as well. It only needs buttons. Now to knit:
Legwarmers for Khylee
Hat for Erin
Hat for Katherine
Socks for Rob
Monster doll for Gavin and Joshua

And to read the pile of books from the library.

Not much to do around here.

It's November already?!

I can't believe it's already the last full week of November and the holidays are about to knock on the door. I knew the holidays were coming and have been thinking about knitted gifts for a select few, but I'm still woefully unprepared.

Let's see, Sean and Erica are expecting a little boy, Gavin, soon. Her original due date was late January and pulled in to mid January, but with the latest appointment (baby's going into a head down position and 6.5 lbs) we're anticipating her going at the end of December.

Erin's still in school, working an on-campus job and just took on a seasonal job scanning tickets at Snoqualmie Summit. She'll be down at Thanksgiving, but with the ski season opening up soon, I imagine she may need to go right back. She's coming down with her boyfriend, David, and staying at her mom's but we'll see her a bit.

I've managed to knit a hat and scarf for a gift basket, but neglected to take pictures (Lame!). I've finished a scarf for a gift and will be casting on for a hat for someone else's gift.

I've continued to read - I'm up to 78 books for the year - and the reading has interfered with the knitting.

There are photos from 2 events on the camera in need of downloading and touch-ups before I send out copies to people.

But bible study is wrapping up and that will give me back a few hours on Sunday and Monday to get these other items done.

I need to get back into regular blogging. I'm spending a lot of time at Facebook (Hello, Farm Town. I'm looking at you). I need to shoot for a weekly update. That wouldn't be too much would it?

I just need to focus.

Getting stuff done

Am actually getting some knitting done lately! Finished these Natalya gauntlets for Erin, knitted in Pingouin yarn on size 8 DPNs. This is the second time I've knit these for her, but this time it's in a yarn that won't felt in the wash. The first pair didn't have the individual fingers like this pair and that's what she wanted this time.



Have other things going on:

* Finishing Mom's sweater
* Attending the Portland Sail for the Cure for Mom. She's coordinating the Sail in San Diego and I'm going to scout out how Portland does their set-up.
* Knitting a sweater for Khylee's upcoming 7th birthday
* Knitting something for Gigi's upcoming birthday
* Knitting a hat & gloves for the November Creative Exchange "Warm & Cozy" basket
* Knit Christmas gifts for 4 nieces and 1 nephew
* Knit a baby blanket for the new grandson, Gavin, due in January

Mixed in all of that is:

* Bible study through November
* Dental appointments
* Women of Faith in October
* Required time off in the October-December time frame (2 weeks!)

It's going to be busy! I'll just need to be focused and patient like Smudge and Tribble.

Sock Summit!

Today was Day 3 at Sock Summit 2009. I didn't take any classes, but I did go down as a volunteer today from 7am to 1pm. I worked at the ticket desk selling the marketplace tickets and show books. Great group of ladies led by JoAnn (on ST-2). If there was a lull, everyone was picking up their knitting.

After I was done at 1pm, I made my way into the Marketplace. Lots to see and buy, let me tell you. I'd made a plan by reviewing all the vendors online, going to their websites and deciding to try to spend my money at the smaller booths rather than the larger store booths. Gotta support the independent sellers.

I bought the yarn below:


L to R: Black Watch from RabbitWorks, Andes Mints from StitchJones, South Pacific and Blackbewwie from Lisa Souza, Coffee Haus and Swamp Thing from Rainy Days and Violet from Wool Candy.

Then I also got the accessories below:


L to R: Lovely little triangular bag from Knit Purl Sew What, another project bag from Wendy Sloneker and some pewter sheep stitch markers from KnitWit Momma (at the Mama Llama booth).

I definitely bought more than planned and am trying to convince myself that some of it will be for Christmas gifts. And as Christmas gifts, they don't really count right?

On the flip side of yarn, here's my current to-read pile. A few books were started, but really all of it is just waiting for me to pluck it from the pile and get settled down.

The End is the Beginning

It's been a difficult day here. I spent an hour on the phone with the daughter who doesn't understand why her father felt the need to ask that she not argue with her brother in the car today. She was insulted and proceeded to argue. Youth always thinks arguing will change the minds of their parents, don't they? Suffice it to say, she was un-invited from joining her father to pick up her brother.

We are struggling right now with adult children (if you can call 19 and 21 adults) who wish to live their lives according to their wants, but who also call us to help them with meeting their needs. How do you support adult children without actually giving them support? Rob and I are trying to lives that embody our Christian beliefs. Trying to love those around us, trying to give over the momentary troubles of today to God in order to focus on the race before us, trying to make right choices on a moment by moment basis. Some days are harder than others and so it is today.

Today brought home to me how much their respect for us and our choices feels like lip service given by them. The expectation of respect for their choices also comes with the expectation we will still provide money when they need it. We are a private lending institution with the names of Dad and Gina.

Don't get me wrong, they love their father. They don't forget Father's Day, they call him on his birthday, and try to give some thought to Christmas gifts for him. But they don't understand they pain they cause him, the grief he has over their choices, his difficulty in sharing his thoughts about their choices.

And, we are so tired. Tired of being taken for granted, tired of being argued with, being told our values, way of thinking, personalities and thought processes are "stupid." Tired of being forgotten (that one is me - no regular Mother's day or birthday greetings for this stepmom). Tired of putting our own financial needs to the side. And you know it's time for a change when you realize you are giving more than a passing thought to moving and not leaving a forwarding address.

We are going to be grandparents. Our son is in a struggling relationship and now she's pregnant. He's determined to be in the child's life, but they have a difficult road ahead of them. They are not married, but living together, can barely make ends meet anyway and now a child is on the way.

Our daughter is in college, but living with her boyfriend. We committed to providing tuition, but all other expenses are hers. There is great struggling for her in wanting to truly be on her own doing whatever she wants and still needing us because she's struggling to make ends meet as well.

When they decided to live with their significant other, we cut off support for living expenses. It may seem harsh, to cut off our children only because they chose to live with their significant other. But as Christians, we will not lend support to sin. But, oh, how we've struggled with it. Who wants their child to have to struggle when it's a simple thing to buy groceries, hiking boots, give money because they lost their wallet?

But, we've reached the point of drawing a tough line and living by it with them. We've felt our hearts being tugged by pity and sorrow for their choices and it's costing us emotionally and monetarily and it is taking a toll on us physically.

We will be putting into action the ability to say no. To say to them "No, we can't help you." To say to ourselves "No, they need to be able to do it themselves." and to say to others "No, they have made the choice to be adults."

We don't know what will be before us once we begin, but oh how glad we are to know we will not be walking this difficult path alone.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Feeling (way too) Hot Hot Hot!

The temperature in the house (after having the window A/C on for 30 minutes) and the outdoor temperature. The sensor is on the front of our garage and gets the afternoon sun.

Weather Bug says it's only 104 out, but it's just too darn hot!

Mental Floss Quiz!

Harry Potter Character or Hideous Skin Disease?



Score: 92% (11 out of 12)

I did better than I thought I would!

Happy Fourth!

Happy Independence Day! It's one day after Mom's birthday (Hi Mom! Did you get my voicemail?) and only a couple of days from my birthday.

But today, we celebrate the birth of our nation the best way Americans can: with food, fireworks and family.

On the agenda today:

1) Go to the Red Cross and donate platelets.



Done. It didn't look like I'd be able to since my iron reading wasn't high enough. But they tested on the other hand and the reading came out fine! And once I was hooked up, my platelet count was high enough to do a triple donation. Score! And just because I was willing to come in on a holiday, I received the above t-shirt, a coupon for 2-for-1 tickets to a Portland Beavers game and an apple pie!

2) Go eat and blow things up at the BIL's. They live out on Sauvie Island and there will be bbq'ing, lots of food, target shooting (for some), knitting (for me) and lots of family. Four generations stuffing their faces and enjoying the heck out of one another.

3) Keep knitting on Mom's sweater. The second sleeve is almost done on her CeCe and about ready to join all the pieces to finish the yoke.

4) Share yarn-y things.

This is the yarn I bought at the Dancing Ewe the last time I was in Ellensburg. In the clearance for only $3 each! 100 g skeins of Allhemp6 in an awesome shade of green.



And these were knit last month for a baby shower. The happy parents opted to not know the sex of the baby so what to make that could work for a boy or girl? How about Blu jeans? Easy peasy to knit and a definite hit with the parents. This may become my go-to baby gift.

My head is spinning!

So much going on. So much that defies understanding.

The daughter is wrapping up her first year of college. School until Spring Quarter was going well with an A average. But now . . . now . . . it's changing all too quickly.

Once engaged to be married in December, it was broken off in April. Once planning to move in with 3 other girls into a campus apartment, now moving in with a new boyfriend and another couple. Once a strong student, well, still a strong student but one that's going to repeat a class and take an incomplete on another in order to "keep the A average."

Rob and I have always held that we would not provide living expenses should she make the adult decision to live with someone. Adult decisions require adult responsibility. She will now be taking on all expenses for herself with the exception of medical, vision and dental coverage. She knew this, expected it. Except she forgot two other things: Her cell phone? Hers. Her car insurance? Hers.

These last two were shocks to her system. She hadn't planned on paying for those. But, they are part of an adult life and as an adult living with her boyfriend, they are part and parcel as well.

What does this mean for Rob and I? Well, a lot of prayer for our kids who are not following the path we'd hoped they would follow. A resolve to stand for our beliefs as Christians and not underwrite their lifestyles (both will now be living with significant others). A desire to show love to our children while encouraging them to rediscover the faith they've abandoned.

And maybe a few more weekend getaways. For peace of mind, you know.

Happy Mother's Day

Mom - who raised 3 daughters and a son



My sister Chris - raising two daughters of her own


My sister Kim - just starting out with her first, a daughter